From the moment of conception, we are in service to our children. From the moment of conception, babies depend on us for food, growth and even mental development. According to the Association for Psychological Science (2011), a growing fetus gets constant messages from its mother, including chemical signals through the placenta, which includes signals about the mental state of the mother. Considering this, service isn’t discussed enough, as it relates to motherhood. So often we see the glamorized projection of motherhood, where babies are smiling and having fun and the parents are gazing in their smiling child’s eyes all while looking refreshed and ready for the day. With this influence, many of us enter motherhood and are shocked to learn just how far from reality this is, especially in the cultural climate where we may only get a highlight reel of someone’s life.
Many days, in my motherhood journey, my time is accounted for from the time my feet hit the floor until my head hits the pillow. Most of this time is spent being of service to others. Being a working mom of three with a fiancé means I spend my days cooking, cleaning, rushing out the door to drop off and pick up kids, checking emails, staring at my computer screen, attending meetings, going to the park, networking, going to football practice, being humbled by 4th grade math homework and so much more. Just like every other working mom, some days are smooth; I feel like I am organized, I’m knocking things out on my to-do list, the kids are behaving, the house is clean, the laundry is folded, dinner is ready by 6pm and everyone is in bed and sleep by 9pm. Then there are days where it’s chaotic from the time I wake; the kids are fighting, I burn breakfast, we are late for school, we eat take out for dinner, and I’m lucky if I got one thing on my to-do list done. These nights usually end with a talk with Jesus and some wine. However, what keeps me going on both days is the understanding that my life is all about service. The people connected to me depend on me and my ability to show up and do my best. And at it’s core, I believe this is the essence of motherhood.
If you are a mother struggling to embrace the hardships that motherhood brings, I employ you to embrace the concept that motherhood is about service and use this perspective as fuel to prioritize self-care to ensure that you show up for your babies as your best self. As moms we owe it to ourselves first and our babies second to care for ourselves in a way that is conducive to us becoming our highest selves. Perfection isn’t the goal here, improvement is. Understanding that the well-being of our babies and families depend on our ability to be our best selves and show up everyday to serve our families and our purpose to the best of our ability.