Parenting is hard. There is no manuscript, it is exhausting and it’s a 24 hour/7 days a week job. Despite how much preparation and advice received prior to becoming a parent, nothing could have prepared us for parenting in the mist of a global pandemic. The interruption of routines, the shift in support, the added responsibility of childcare, the worry, and the uncertainty, just to name a few. If you are a parent and you’re reading this blog, I would first like to take a moment and appreciate you! You may find the days are long, hard and uncertain but you show up every day to give it another shot and you are still here, that’s to be recognized and celebrated.
In July of 2020, The American Enterprise Institute reported that nearly 64 millions Americans were living with children under the age of 18 and that most of these parents depended on public schools, private schools and daycares to help educate and provide support for their children. Well we all know that in March of 2020, just about everything shut down; resulting in many jobs becoming virtual and the closing of schools and childcare centers. Many parents, were forced to make really hard decisions for our families. Consequently, some of us took a leap of faith and changed careers, some of us opened businesses and became our own bosses and some of us began working from home while watching our children. No matter how the story behind COVID has played out for you, one thing’s for sure, moms have had to bare the burden of the effects of COVID-19.
According to the American Enterprise Institute (2020), more than 42% of parents report doing at least three hours of household chores or cleaning, on average, each day. The American Enterprise Institute (2020) also reported that 43% of parents with young children admitted to doing at least four hours of childcare each day. The Catalyst (2020) reported that 41% of parents say they have less job security due to the pandemic and fear being penalized because they have childcare responsibilities. Between, domestic responsibilities, childcare, and work, no wonder moms are burnt out, stressed and exhausted. Further supporting my position that parents, especially moms, have been effected most during the pandemic.
After getting over the initial shock of the stay at home order that came by way of the pandemic, many parents were faced with the challenges of navigating parenthood in a pandemic. This means figuring out the best ways to keep both ourselves and our children mentally and physically safe. This is where the fear, anxiety and stress sets in for many of us. As if parenting isn’t hard enough, we now have to face the fears of our babies contracting this deadly virus when taking them out, figuring out ways to keep our minds stimulated and occupied without the built-in social constructs we were used to and becoming a primary source of education, while working ourselves. The add responsibilities along with the drastic life changes can really take a toll on the best self proclaimed mom. As much as we love our children, being with the every moment of every day was not the plan for many of us when we decided to have a family. As guilty as you may feel saying this out loud, its true, you are not alone in this thought and you should not feel ashamed.
The New York Times (2020) reported that 61% of parents of 5, 6, and 7 year old’s in Massachusetts agreed or strongly agreed that they felt nervous, anxious or on edge because of the pandemic. In addition to this 63%of parents said that they felt they had lost emotional support during the pandemic (New York Times, 2020). This is way I urge mommies, take care of yourself, guilt free. This pandemic has shifted our worlds in ways that we could have never imagined. Give yourself permission and grace to adjust so that you can be who you desire to be first and who your family needs you to be.
We are living in unprecedented times. Times that no other parents can say they have lived through before, and as hard as some days are, I find solace in the fact that God handpicked me to be on this earth and parent my babies during a time such as this. Because of this, I believe I possess all that I need to be who they need me to be. And even when the science fails to guide me in the ways that I feel are best for my family, I can trust that God has equipped me with what I need in each moment. What I have learned in this pandemic is that in the moments when it’s hardest to be who I need to be for my babies, God meets me and gives me grace to get through that hard moment. I’ve learned that if I just show up, He will sustain me in each moment. So this is my encouragement to you Graced Mommies, just show up. Don’t worry about how you will do everything that is on your goals list, how you will meet that deadline, how you will get your degree, how you will purchase the home, how your babies will get through school or how you will pay for gifts this Christmas; just show up! God will give you grace in each moment, and provide for you!