Parenting is one of two roles many individuals get into and are oblivious to the true essence of it, yet will give and receive so much unsolicited advice about it. Most, if not all, individuals enter parenthood some-what ignorant to what the expectations and sacrifices really are. Because parenting is so hard, many of us feel like experts once we get the hang of things. Consequently, I believe many of us go wrong when we generalize parenting, assuming what worked for us will work for others.
Some people become parents and decide that they will do things just like their parents, because the feel like they grew up in pretty wholesome environments. Some people become parents and decide they will do nothing like their parents because they feel like they grew up in toxic environments. Regardless of what a person choses, there is no guarantee our children will turn out the way the we desire. I’ve heard of stories where children in the same household with the same parents and the same rules evolve into two polar opposite adults as it relates success in the eyes of society and their respective culture. One thing that I’ve accepted about motherhood is that it keeps you humble. Just when we feel like we have things figured out, our child does something to remind us that we don’t.
Motherhood has forced me to mature in ways I never imagined. I think that most moms have a shared desire to become better parents so that we can be who our kids need in each moment. Because of this, we often seek validation from people who may or may not support our parenting styles; leaving us feeling insufficient and questioning our innate ability to show up for our babies. If you are reading this, I am sending you a virtual hugs. Parenting isn’t easy. No matter how experienced a mom looks or how well she presents herself, we all have our days. We are all learning as we go.
All things considered; cultural norms, societal standards, the child’s temperament, economic status, and lived experiences; as a child, there is no one way to parent that absolutely works for everyone. It is for this reason I believe, as moms, we should extend grace to each other; trusting that we are doing the best for our children with the skills and tools we have at our disposal.
Grace yourself!